A little boys dream,

Ripped away in the blink of an eye.

Then the dreams stop.

Life happens.

We stop dreaming.

We forget that we can have as many dreams as we want.

We are infinite,

So we get to have infinite dreams.

If we are breathing,

We can have dreams.

I don’t want to die with the music still inside of me.

Screws and staples.

Playing football for the Minnesota Vikings was my dream.

I was consumed by this dream.

Morning and night.

I saw it in my mind.

I was on the path.

Unti…

Who am I?

That is the million dollar question.

I got lost.

So lost.

Who is this boy named Troy?

A football player.

A bodybuilder.

A dad.

A personal trainer.

A coach.

A dude.

A Spiritual Warrior.

Divorced.

A fitness enthusiast.

A cyclist.

A golfer.

All of those things are great.

But, who am I?

Emasculated.

My inner power got stripped away.

I looked everywhere to figure out who I am.

Always searching outside of myself.

Trying to figure it out.

You are not enough as you are s…

There isn’t anything I have to do.

Just be still.

Be aware.

Be aware of being aware.

Sit back and observe.

I am being breathed.

I feel a peace that passes all understanding.

A smile comes over me.

A tear runs down my face.

A tear of joy.

A deep sense of love.

A wholeness that I can’t describe.

The senses want to pull me in so many directions.

My mind can spin with relentless thoughts.

Most of those thoughts aren’t even true.

The truth is I am being breathed.

The best thing I can …

I got it all wrong most of my life.

I searched for power in all the wrong things.

I was misled.

Money.

Followers.

Likes.

Muscles.

Religion.

Sports.

Relationships.

Things.

Body.

Image.

External validation.

The search outside of myself led to despair.

We are sold a way of living that creates constant seeking and attaining.

Know thyself.

That is true power.

It’s right there.

It’s too obvious.

It’s too simple.

It’s profound.

Know myself.

That is where the wisdom is.

Master my…

I was lost.

And now I am found.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

So many poor choices.

So much pain.

So much desperation.

It was buried deep down.

I journeyed for years carrying a deep burden in my soul.

Sadness pervaded my spirit.

Heaviness.

Darkness.

The shadow.

The truth was slowly revealed.

Understanding came bit by bit.

Healing through tears.

The revelations that came.

It first tore me down.

Took me to my knees.

Slowly ever so slowly,

I started to wake up.

The deep cond…

“Put everything away except your pencils.” That is the directive from my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Carlson, signaling it is creative writing time.

A collective groan comes over the class.

Desperately wanting to fit in and be part of the crowd, as I was so good at back then and still have moments of wanting to fit in, I moaned and groaned along with them, but secretly my insides were doing a happy dance.

Expressing My Creative Side Without Shame

As Mrs. Carlson put the creative writing prompt…

As we were having our Spiritual Warriors Unite men’s gathering last month one of the guys said something simple, but yet profound. I am not even sure if he was aware of what he said. 

“All we are is a bunch of guys chasing God trying to be better men.”

Sometimes I am not sure if we are chasing God or if He is chasing us. In my own personal journey I believe God has always been there, I just made a choice not to pursue him, which led to a lot of emptiness and unfulfillment.

I believe deep down…

I Am A Football Player

I am a football player. Having that identity growing up certainly didn’t work out very well for me when I blew out my knee my sophomore year in college. My life was a mess and disaster for a couple of years after I lost my identity as a football player. I had no idea who I was, what I stood for or who I wanted to be. I was lost, depressed and full of despair.

My whole life up to that point revolved around sports and especially football. I was Troy the star football playe…

God designed men to conquer.   We need challenges in our lives.   If we don’t have challenges we get soft and bored and that is never a good combination.   Revelation 3:21 states, “The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.”

I believe one of the biggest battles I see men face is one of complacency.  Not living life to the full, both in our spiritual walk and our physical being.  We have gotten soft physicall…

Not that long ago I had this crazy vision that was put on my heart to impact one million men’s lives through building a tribe of Spiritual Warriors. A Spiritual Warrior is a person who is willing to go on a journey of self-growth and personal discovery for a transcendent cause greater than ourselves.

I question myself every day if I am making a difference in anybody’s life. I question whether I am being the inspired leader that God is calling me to be. Am I truly modeling what it means to embod…