Radically Free To Be Me
“It’s all for nothing if you don’t have freedom.” William Wallace from Braveheart
I have lived the vast majority of my life in a self-imposed cage trying to be someone I am not. I have tried to live up to society’s and people’s expectations of how I am supposed to show up conforming to the world’s standards. I am the one who has put myself in the cage and now I am taking full responsibility for busting out of my cage once and for all.
What I am discovering on my journey is that the only way to get out of the cage that we put ourselves in is to show up in the world as our authentic souls. I have been saying this mantra to myself when I go out for my walking meditation every morning. “I am radically free to be me.”
I am slowly learning that I don’t have to pretend to be someone I am not. I am recognizing that my ego, pride and feelings of unworthiness are holding me back from living my best life. It’s time to break out of my cage knowing that I am enough as I am.
Suffering happens when we try to live a life contrary to our nature. Suffering happens when we don’t accept life as it is. Freedom happens in our lives when we are true to our authentic souls.
I have lived many years thinking there was something wrong with me feeling like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. As I have gone on this deep introspective journey I continue to learn more about myself and heal past wounds in the process.
As a man who is introverted and highly sensitive that would rather watch a chick flick than a shoot ’em up movie it has been easy to think that I don’t fit into societal norms. I am realizing that is more than OK.
The path to radical freedom isn’t easy, but if we want to live a life that is fulfilling and makes us feel fully alive there are certain things we can do to bust out of our cage and find personal freedom in being who we are created to be.
Live a Life of Risk Being Willing to Fail
One of the main reasons we stay locked in our self-imposed cage is the need for safety and security. We become risk averse trapped by the fear of failure. I love this quote from Greg Plitt.
“Someone who says ‘I failed’ is ten times more of a man, than someone who said, “What if?” because “What if” never went to the arena.
True freedom is living a life of risk being willing to fail. It took thirty years to realize my dream of being an entrepreneur. Why did it take me so long? Because I didn’t believe in myself enough to take a chance. I desired safety and security over freedom. But four years ago I did take that leap of faith busting out of my cage living a life of risk being willing to fail.
I left the comfort and security of a six figure job with all of the benefits and security that went along with it. I had the company car, 401k, pension, health benefits and a steady paycheck. But I was dying inside. I was going to a job every day that was not in my nature. I was an introvert living in an extroverted world. I was very successful at pharmaceutical sales, but I wasn’t fulfilled. After seventeen years in the pharmaceutical industry I decided to live a life of risk being willing to fail. I am finding freedom on my journey that I didn’t know was possible.
What is holding you back from living a life of risk and adventure? What is one step you can take today that will move you towards taking that risk and overcoming the fear of failure? There are never any guarantees in life, but what I can tell you from personal experience taking a leap of faith is one of the best things I have ever done. We can’t put a price on freedom.
Freedom From Fear of Man
Of all the things that have held me back in my life I would say the fear of what other people think about me is the biggest one. I have cared way too much about other people’s opinion. The need to be liked has run deep into my core. That is a brain pattern I am working hard on letting go.
Fear of man has kept me playing small, not wanting to stand out in the crowd. The tribal pattern of wanting to fit in and belong is wired into all of us because of our survival mechanisms. If we want true freedom we have to overcome this basic instinct of the need to belong.
I am finally getting to the point in my life where I don’t need everyone to understand or like me. It’s more important to be radically free to be me than care what others think. As a chronic people pleaser, that is a hard pattern to overcome.
Galatians 1:10 is a great reminder to me that I am here to serve Christ and not to people please.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Are you a people pleaser? Do you live in fear of other people’s opinion of you? I get it. But if we want to live a life of radical freedom, being free to be ourselves, fear of man is one of the biggest obstacles that we will have to overcome. The biggest question that we have to ask ourselves is do we want to live our lives based on the opinions of others or do we want to live our life in a way that makes us happy?
Do What Makes You Feel Fully Alive
The best thing we can do to honor and glorify God is to live a life that makes us feel fully alive. When we are living a life that excites us and is purpose-driven we have an energy that is contagious. When we wake up in the morning excited about our day, that is true freedom.
When we are trapped in boredom, lacking passion, we start to live in quiet desperation. With that comes a feeling of hopelessness. I started to feel that towards the end of my pharmaceutical career. Once my kids graduated from high school I lost my why of being in that industry. I didn’t have the passion for it. I was bored and unfulfilled.
Now I am doing what makes me feel fully alive. I am helping men get out of quiet desperation and moving towards living a life of divine inspiration. I am writing, podcasting, coaching men one-on-one as a spiritual warrior coach. I am wired for deep conversation. I am energized by helping men who are seeking radical inner transformation and freedom. I am living a life that makes me feel fully alive and I want that for you too.
If you aren’t living a life that makes you feel fully alive, why not? What is holding you back? What would it take for you to feel more fully alive in your day to day life? Start to create the life of your dreams and go for it.
Freedom Comes From the Inside
True freedom can only come from inside our soul. It’s knowing we have the Kingdom of Heaven in us. I have battled codependency for as long as I can remember. Breaking free from codependency has been the best thing I have done to find my personal freedom. I don’t need to find love outside of myself because I am a son of God and he loves me unconditionally. Resting in that brings me inner peace. The same is true for you. We are all children of God and we don’t need to seek love outside ourselves any more.
In the past, I have needed people to tell me I am a good man. I craved this external validation. Oftentimes the hardest thing to do is to love ourselves. I made a vow recently. The vow is to love myself intensely and unconditionally. Not an easy thing to do and I have fallen short on this vow plenty of times. But it is top of mind for me to find true freedom by being radically free to be me.
How are you loving yourself right now? Are you your own worst critic? Do you have that voice rattle in your brain all day long that says you aren’t enough? The best thing we can do is to love ourselves. To forgive ourselves for any past mistakes and failures and to live life as it was meant to be lived; with joy, peace and freedom.
Finding true freedom in our life is a journey that never ends. Give yourself grace. Be patient with yourself. Discover your path to radical freedom. Learn from your mistakes. Grow from your failures. But most of all find joy in the journey. There is only one you and you are a beautiful you. There is only one me and I am a beautiful me. Let’s practice being radically free being our beautiful selves.
Spiritual Warrior Coach
Founder and Creator of Barbells & Brothers